He Is With Me

So after the labor, the first few weeks of no sleep, the incoming visitors, the baby having a cow's milk allergy, the traveling to visit great grandparents, the hurricane, and then more visitors.....geez..... these past few weeks I got to actually have some downtime at home. Maybe I liked having all the chaos because I started missing my family and friends.

Isn't that crazy how that works!

In the midst of the craziness, you want some downtime and in the downtime you long for a little craziness.

But anyway....

They say that the baby blues occurs during or after pregnancy. I didn't think that I had these so called blues at all. Everything is perfect and super duper! Um no.

Is this all I do now...... bathtime, naptime, feeding every couple of hours, changing poopies, washing tiny clothes, cleaning up pee-pee off the wall, and comforting an upset baby boy. I am a stay at home mom...WHAT? When did this happen? I had the wife, special education teacher, sister, daughter, granddaughter, and friend roles all sort of figured out, but being a MOM?!? I am not sure if I even qualify being a mom. I am still amazed that the nurses and doctors allowed me to leave the hospital with my baby. Total doubt of my capabilities. Yep, the blues for sure. I could go on and on about all the discouragement and depressed feelings, but that's depressing in itself.  

I knew that I needed to get out of the house and meet some folks. Since my mommy friends are so far away, I knew I needed to meet some moms. At church I noticed that the women's circle meetings were starting, and I should probably get involved, so that I would not become a recluse - stay at home - mom (that's just asking for the blues). In need of some fellowship, I started going to a women's small group .

We are studying the story of Martha and Mary. You know the one where Jesus came to their house, and Martha did all the preparations for the meal, while Mary went and sat at Jesus' feet to listen. Martha asks Jesus to tell Mary to help her, but Jesus says that Mary has chosen what is better.

I needed to remember to listen to what Jesus has told me about himself. I needed to sit at his feet and remember who he is.

He is with me, do not fear.

It is quite frightening to know that this little boy depends fully on Andrew and me to take care of him. I don't have all the answers to bringing this baby up in the way he should go. I am anxious of the mistakes that I will make in the future. I am comforted in knowing  that we are not alone in all of this. God has given us his Holy Spirit, parents, siblings, and friends to help us. In the women's Bible study group there are four other girls that have recently moved to this area, many moms with little ones, four girls expecting babies, and others ladies that I am extremely excited about getting to know. I have already received some little nuggets of wisdom from some of them, and I cannot wait to find out how God will use them to teach me about being a Godly woman and mother. 

God is good like that. When you need encouragement, he gives it. When you need help, he gives it. When you need grace, he gives it. When you need forgiveness, he gives it. Maybe I won't be such a sucky mom to Burt Burt like I thought. 

"Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you. For I am the LORD your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior." Isaiah 43:1-2

Fear not, He is with me.